Questions to ask one another
Thanksgiving gonna be funnnn
Two things to consider before disavowing friends-who-suprisingly-voted-for-Trump: 1) We avoid hard topics. 2) Politics are “impolite.” Where have those values gotten us? A country divided on moral issues with no hope of coming together because the powers that be don’t want us to.
But we all know we agree on more than we don’t.
“No, we don’t. They are sexist and racist… and how can I be okay with that?
Are they? Here’s how a female Trump voter responded to a friend’s post:
She didn’t vote for Trump because she hates women or trans people; she voted because she is afraid of men. (Me, too.)
So maybe those people you’re so angry with aren’t sexist and racist. And maybe you’re curious why they voted for him? If you can, open a conversation with someone you were surprised by — and most importantly, do it with curiosity.
Years ago, I saw a gay couple for the first time and remarked to a friend that I thought it was sad if I kid had to grow up without a mom and a dad. “Why?” she asked me.
I can still hear her tone— she asked not with judgment, but with total curiosity. So I responded not with defensiveness, but with openness. And after realizing I was just saying that I loved my parents so very much, and that it wasn’t their opposite sex that mattered, but their personalities, I changed my mind. Immediately.
Maybe some of you don’t have the experience of ever being morally wrong, but it’s humbling. Hard to admit. Give folks a chance.
***To be clear: I don’t think you should start unsafe conversations. And I don’t think you should waste your time, energy or love on complete strangers or people who you’re sure are bigots or completely immovable. Rather, reach out to talk with people like the person above.
Fun questions to ask at the Thanksgiving table
The key to 2026 is getting the dialogue started. Not convincing anyone of anything, but rather seeking to understand.
What are we all thankful for?
How would you define ‘democracy’?
What do you hope Trump does while in office?
After some wine 🎉 - Are there any laws you’ve broken, or could break, for loved one’s sakes? (Primes them to think that decency should be above the law)
THE BIG ONE: Just curious: who did you vote for and why? Let’s agree the vote is over and done, so we’re not going to change anyone’s mind here. But it would be great if we could understand each other better.
🌈
Of course, you’d need to be in the right mindset for these kinds of conversations — kind and curious and open. And preferably Actively listening– rephrasing what the person says, saying it back and asking if you understand.
Because they really want to be heard. And maybe, if we’re lucky, they’ll hear us, too, and we’ll agree to work together to get the things done that we all want. ☮️